Attention Brian Cantwell: Get Off My Google Results Page!
Posted by Brian Cantwell on Fri, Jun 26, 2009 @ 11:22 AM
Dear Brian Cantwell,
Yes, you Brian Cantwell. The
one with the Facebook page and the friends named Alfio Previtera, Jillian Scarangelli, Sam Fran Scavuzzo, and Lydia Hernandez.
I don't know you Mr. Facebook Brian Cantwell, but your recent presence as the number two Google result
when someone searches for "Brian Cantwell" has not gone unnoticed. I don't remember you ever showing up before when I've
self-Googled, yet you have miraculously risen from the depths of Google to take the number two spot and (incidentally) knocked me from the coveted first page.
Since I started using Google in 2001, information about me has been relegated to the far reaches of Google page results. I was ok with that, because the folks at the top of the "Brian Cantwell" ranks seemed like they deserved the honor. This past April, my
twitter profile finally made it to the first page of Google results for "Brian Cantwell." One of my goals over the past year has been to expand my online presence, and the self-Google page rank is one small (albeit self-indulgent) indicator of my progress. My current effort is this blog,
B-School with Brian, which is still very much a work in progress. I'm working hard at creating and optimizing interesting content for current and future b-school students, as well as folks interested in entrepreneurship and marketing.
There are many Brian Cantwells in the world. On Facebook alone there are 27. I've come to grips with being less accomplished and less interesting than several of these Brian Cantwells. Some of my favorite name-mates are:
- Mr. Stanford Brian Cantwell is a very accomplished Professor of Aeronautics and Astronautics at Stanford. He is literally a rocket scientist, and entirely deserving of top billing on Google.
- Mr. IMDB Brian Cantwell looks like a pretty skilled digital artist in the movie business, bringing his talents to blockbuster films like Iron Man, Wall-E, and The Matrix Reloaded.
- Mr. Brian Cantwell-Smith, a CS genius with multiple MIT degrees, has several publications on computer science, metaphysics, epistemology, and other things that I can't begin to understand. I'm proud to share an MIT connection with Mr. Brian Cantwell-Smith and, despite the hyphen in his last name, I happily cede my Google rank to his accomplishments.
- Mr. Political Donor Brian Cantwell gave $9,300 in political donations in 2008. As a cash-strapped MBA student, I can't afford $9 in political donations, much less $9,000, so Mr. Political Donor Brian Cantwell has my respect for his political involvement.
- Mr. Travels with Brian Cantwell writes fantastic travel posts for the Seattle Times. My favorite post is one where Mr. Travels with Brian Cantwell actually discovers Mr. Stanford Brian Cantwell through Google and the two Brian Cantwells go to Ireland together to reconnect with their shared ancestry. Coincidentally, I'll be in Ireland for my honeymoon this summer and I plan to visit the same ruined church and Cantwell Fada statue in County Kilkenny that these two Brian Cantwells explored two years ago.
Which brings me back to you, Mr. Facebook Brian Cantwell. How have you risen to number two so quickly and with seemingly minimal effort? Where is your remarkable content? Where is your personal website, your blog, your twitter, your vanity url? Why, of the 27 Brian Cantwell profiles on Facebook, is your profile tops? Please accept my humble apologies if you are, in fact, any of the Brian Cantwells mentioned above. Yet, for some reason I doubt you are.
So, Mr. Facebook Brian Cantwell, I am writing to inform you that your unintentional challenge has been accepted. Inspired by the tremendous accomplishments and remarkable content produced by my name-mates Mr. Stanford Brian Cantwell, Mr. IMDB Brian Cantwell, Mr. Brian Cantwell-Smith, and Mr. Travels with Brian Cantwell, I will be employing all the weapons in my inbound marketing arsenal to take you out. I am on a mission to regain first-page status and I have you in my sights.
Game on,